-I'm splitting up your paragraph into multiple paragraphs based on the topics you discuss. Each new paragraph can be developed more or stand on its own as a new idea. Helps the reader transition from one idea to the next.
According to FBI reports, arresting of the homeless has increased 77% in California from 2000 to 2012, but arrests for drunkenness and disorderly conduct has decreased by 16% and 48% for some odd reason. Why are people more comfortable with drunks and disorderly conduct than people who unfortunately landed on hard times?
-this seems like a good starting point to get into negative stereotypes and/or representations of the homeless. Can you develop that info here? where do they come from and how do they continue to stick around. Are the stereotypes the reason why people act the way they do towards the homeless?
Advocates have attempted to have a bill passed to protect the homeless from being arrested for performing every day activities; back in 2013, advocates proposed a homeless bill of rights to do just that but the bill eventually died in the Appropriations Committee. People may argue that homeless citizens have to help themselves and get jobs but they can't stop being homeless without a little help, after all, the homeless are people too.
-what is the name of the bill?
- what were its components?
- why didn't it pass? what can we do about this?
Whenever people walk past a homeless person sitting on the sidewalk asking for any spare change, they usually don't even acknowledge them or claim that they don't have any spare change even though they probably do. Whenever I give money to the homeless, they are always so thankful and I can see in their eyes that they're very happy, seeing a person become so happy because of my good deed makes myself happy. The average person doesn't know that most homeless people have had very troubled lives.
-how can you use this paragraph to back up your focus/position in your paper? How can you further develop your own personal experiences and thoughts into serving a purpose for your final article?
People should at least try to start a conversation with a homeless person to show that someone cares; talking to them can brighten up their day.
- this reads as something you are really pushing for. How are you going to get your readers to believe this and consider this as something they should do? I can see your showing how there are those who deserve to be acknowledged one way of backing up your point and John can serve as one example of that.
In an interview with a homeless veteran named John, he confirms that whenever someone talks to him, it always makes his day better and puts a smile on his face and it makes him feel like less of a human when someone ignores him.
if you are going to mention him and use him as an example then you are going to want to develop his story more so that your audience is moved by him in some way like you were when you watched the video
Californians and humans in general should show that they care for the homeless and less fortunate. The first step would be to get people to care about the homeless, we need to show compassion and humanity towards them. The second step would be to pass a bill that protect the rights of the homeless so the police don't have to arrest a homeless person sitting or resting on the sidewalk. Then we have to create programs to assist the homeless to get them a good job so they can actually afford homes.
http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-0216-boden-california-vagrancy-laws-target-homeless-20150216-story.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdzLLEvxKoY
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